ashleylosingit

I feel I became obsessed with weight when I was in 7th grade.  I obviously was going through puberty but it seemed like some girls in my class never went through that awkward stage.  Why wasnt i one of the luck ones? I loved gym class in elementry school, we would play fun games like dodgeball or freeze tag.  Someone should have warned me that 7th grade gym class was nothing like that…it was not fun, at least not the first part of class.  Thinking back it probably wasnt as bad as I remember, but I dont think i had ever sweat like that before, and in front of boys! How embararssing!  I could barely keep up with half the class just doing simple sit ups and push ups.  To top it all off we had to do the one thing to this day I cant stand, running! I hated gym class so much I would dread it everyday, why couldn’t they have seperated us by sex. Obviously I cared to much what people thought especially boys.  Not only was I not as skinny as most of the girls, but I was bearly making it through gym class without passing out.(It may be an exaggaration, but that how I felt!)  Over the summer after 7th grade I had tried numerous diets and workouts determined to be more successful with the boys and especially gym class.  I grew a little taller and before the first day of school i felt pretty good about myself.  It didnt take long before my dread of gym class came back, my new crush was in my class.  He later said that he couldnt date a girl with a “beer belly” after one of my friend asked him if he liked me. So pretty much that has stuck with me over the years and it repeats everytime i try on clothes.  I dont want to think about that anymore so I am taking a stand for myself, and not for any stupid boy, or man.